Recently, my husband and I drove 3 hours north for a peaceful 4-day vacation, free of children, dogs, and technology. It was heavenly!
OK, let me address what you are all now thinking. Husband?! Say what?! When did THAT happen? Well, it didn't. But it did.
For some unknown reason while on this trip, we began referring to each other as "my husband" and "my wife". It started out with an innocent comment at the front desk when T referred to me as his wife. I think my jaw hit the floor! Not because I don't feel that way about him, because I do, but because we have both always asserted that because we have "been there, done that" we do not intend to ever get "officially" married. We both want a lifelong commitment to each other, and have made plans to exchange rings and vows at some point, but not in front of a minister, or a judge, or a crowd. Just us. That commitment is what we both want. Not the piece of paper that proves it.
So, whether it was the relaxed environment, the spectacular views, the endless alone time, or possibly the cocktails, we seamlessly began referring to each other as such on this trip.
And maybe that is part of what relaxation brings you. Cuz damn we were relaxed! Many times I found myself realizing that I had no idea what time it even was....and I didn't care! We allowed ourselves to be ruled by the sunrise, the weather, and possibly the hours of the breakfast buffet. *wink*
Maybe relaxation brings you the opportunity to say and do and become things you were already feeling, but in the busy-ness of everyday life, were over-thinking so much that they never happened. My story above is a perfect example. We had "planned" to exchange rings and refer to each other as husband and wife while we built our lives together. We talked about it a lot. Both agreed we would do it. That it made sense. That that was how we felt about each other. But in all that talking and planning, it never occurred to us that we could just DO that any time we darn well wanted to! And it took less than 2 hours of extreme relaxation for us to fall into the husband/wife labels without even a second thought. It just rolled off T's tongue like he'd been calling me that for years. No thinking required!
And that's what love is. Does it require work to maintain a relationship? Absolutely! Does it require patience in the face of frustration? Absolutely! Does it require planning when making a big decision like buying a house or starting a new career? Absolutely! There are plenty of things within a relationship that are going to require talking and planning. Trust me, we are merging households in approximately 90 days and there is more talking and planning going on than I care to have! But what should NOT require any talking, or any planning, or any thought whatsoever, is what you call that person you have chosen to share your life with.
And when all the clutter and crap from everyday life has been removed, and you are standing on a Muskoka balcony, watching the sun rise over frozen Peninsula Lake, you magically become husband and wife. In the best possible way. With no thought required.
~ The Lazy Gourmet
**Our recent trip was to Deerhurst Resort in Huntsville, Ontario, Canada. A beautiful place to visit in all 4 of our spectacular Canadian seasons. Below are a few more photos from our trip.
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