tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37325532924263622172024-03-14T11:46:04.098-07:00TheLazyGourmetThoughts, ideas, opinions, recipes, and random musings from a crazy Canadian Mom.TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-36863675855147842682015-05-27T07:03:00.003-07:002015-05-27T07:03:50.960-07:00Stand and Share Your Story<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.3em; text-align: center;">
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God, I love this quote! I want to plaster it on billboards and t-shirts! Never in my life have I been afraid to share my story, talk about my struggles, and celebrate my successes. To some, this is considered brave. To others, stupid. Some even distance themselves from me because they fear that MY story will somehow impact THEIR story in a negative way. Whatever. To each their own.</div>
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Despite the negative reactions from some, what I have learned over the years as I share my experiences through social media, my blog, and now on Healthy Minds Canada, is that my story has changed lives. Telling the stories of my emotionally abusive marriage, my experiences with anxiety and depression, my subsequent PTSD diagnosis, and how we have navigated my son's Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosis, has changed me. I'm not ashamed of those things. They have changed me, and shaped me into who I am today. Were some of those experiences exceptionally negative? Hell yeah! 8 years with an addict was no picnic! But let me tell you something.....I wouldn't change it for the world! Because that doormat of a girl who went into that marriage, came out of it emotionally battered and bruised, but strong as hell. I now know what I deserve in life, and will settle for nothing less.</div>
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And sharing that experience and the diagnoses that came out of it (PTSD, anxiety & depression) have changed others. I don't feel embarrassed telling my story. And I know my willingness to share has helped others. I know because of the countless number of friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc who have messaged me privately over the years to say "me too" or "my child is having trouble with anxiety. Where do I start?" Some may not know my story is relevant to them now, but having heard it, they will recall it at some point in the future and know that I have navigated this bumpy road as well, and I can help them. I may not have all the answers they need, but sometimes the most important thing people need is to hear "I get it" or "It won't be easy but you can do it." So simple. Oh how hearing those words would have changed things for me!! </div>
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I felt hopelessly alone. Which is why I started sharing my story publicly via my blog and through social media. There was some initial backlash. And let's be honest, depending on my current topic, there still is! My phone rang off the hook after a certain post from a few weeks ago. People who still do not feel it is appropriate for ME to tell MY story. Please don't get me started on that!</div>
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Sharing my experiences freed me. It gave me a voice during a time when I felt I had none. And when people responded with similar stories, or questions, or just supportive comments, it changed me. As Iyanla Vanzant says, it healed me.</div>
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Not everyone is comfortable sharing publicly this way, and that is their prerogative. There is no judgement here if that is your decision. But I know that my experience of sharing my story and my journey, has been one of healing. Sharing has healed me. Strengthened me. And changed me for the better. And I know my story has put others on the path to healing as well. Even if just to tell them "me too."</div>
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~ The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-61824719451304262442015-05-12T08:13:00.000-07:002015-05-27T07:25:21.533-07:00The Mental Health Family Tree<div data-mce-style="text-align: center;" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.3em; text-align: center;">
<a data-mce-href="http://healthymindscanada.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/familytreeroots.jpg" href="http://healthymindscanada.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/familytreeroots.jpg"><img alt="familytreeroots" class="size-medium wp-image-7079" data-mce-src="http://healthymindscanada.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/familytreeroots-211x300.jpg" src="http://healthymindscanada.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/familytreeroots-211x300.jpg" height="300" style="border: 0px; cursor: default;" width="211" /></a></div>
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Although I love both the visual and the sentiment expressed by the above graphic, I beg to differ. I do not claim to speak for everyone's experience, but it has been my own experience that when the branches of that family tree contain mental illness or mental health issues, the roots do not keep us all together. The roots divide us. Sometimes permanently.</div>
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My diagnosis of PTSD came in my mid-30s, but I had suffered bouts of anxiety and depression since early childhood. My 13-year-old son was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder at the age of 7. Even now, as I watch him struggle to manage this diagnosis, I see shades of a younger me, and wish that I had received the kind of healthcare, therapy, and family support that he receives. My goal is to equip him with the tools to deal with this diagnosis at a young age, so as not to struggle with it into adulthood like so many of us do. I am determined to ensure that his road is smoother than mine was. Life will bring bumps and potholes, but he will have the tools to deal with those inevitable stumbles.</div>
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This is a tricky post to write without "outing" things that people clearly do not wish to discuss, so I will speak in wide generalities and hope that the kickback is minimal. We will see.....</div>
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Based on factual information that I have available to me through family members, family tree research, and war records, I feel it is safe to say that I am a 3rd generation sufferer of mental health issues. My son is 4th generation. I believe we are also 3rd and 4th generation mental health sufferers on the other side of my family tree as well, but the silence runs deep there so I really have nothing but my own experiences and speculation to back that up.</div>
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The research on whether anxiety and other mental health issues are hereditary seems a bit wishy-washy. Some experts say there is no connection. Others say that family history can indicate a stronger tendency towards mental health issues, but there is no proof that they are, in fact, hereditary. Again, I beg to differ. I find it hard to believe that 4 generations of mental health issues in the same family would be considered coincidence. If there were 4 generations of breast cancer, modern medicine would state irrefutably that there was a history of breast cancer in the family and that the gene was hereditary. But not so much with mental health.</div>
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And why is that? Well, my belief is two-fold. 1) Since mental health and its diagnostic tools are relatively new, I don't think professionals and scientists yet know how to determine what gene, hereditary trait, etc to isolate and research in order to determine this with certainty. I hope they will get there in the very near future. 2) The mental health stigma. It is alive and well, people. We have taken leaps and bounds in the past few years to try and break the stigma surrounding mental illness, but many, many people are still afraid to talk about it or admit to their struggles with it. Many go undiagnosed because they fear even speaking to a health care provider.</div>
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I found a huge sense of relief when war discharge papers I was sent from 1945 stated "doesn't like crowds of people." Thank God! A clue! Does this mean, for sure, that this person had some kind of social anxiety? Well, no. But given the other history I know of this person, and how they lived their life post-war, my unprofessional opinion is that yes, this person did suffer from social anxiety, and possibly much more. But no one speaks of it.</div>
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The other side of the family tree is just as silent. We are heading back to see the Child Psychologist in a few weeks for an assessment that is due now that my son is 13. We were asked to bring a comprehensive family history of mental health issues with us to this appointment. In my constant quest for answers, and my desire to know "why" people do the things they do and make the choices that they make, I had hoped my quest for information would bring me not only some useful medical information for my son's doctor, but some answers to the questions I have about myself and my family, and why we are the way we are. I was to be bitterly disappointed.</div>
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I sent an email to 11 people on that particular side of my family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, even siblings. I received 2 responses. One said they were not aware of any issues, and another shared their own experiences that I will pass along to my son's doctor. From the other 9 people I received radio silence. From FAMILY!! Why? The mental health stigma. Could I be wrong? Possibly. But I bet if that email was regarding a diagnosis of diabetes or cancer and I was looking for family history people would have been willing to share. In fact, a cancer diagnosis in the family a few years ago spread like wildfire with people making sure everyone knew and got themselves the proper tests at the proper age. Not so with mental health. And the fear runs so deep that even responding was impossible for most. You do not fear that which is not happening. If there is no diabetes in your family then sending a quick email to say "no history of that in our family that I know of" would be second nature. Not so with mental illness.</div>
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This has been a tough pill for me to swallow. That the fear runs so deep that sending an email to assist in the health care treatment of a 13-year-old boy was too much to ask.</div>
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And so, although I love the graphic at the top of this post, I must strongly disagree. When it comes to mental illness, our roots do not keep us all together. They divide us. And they keep us silent.</div>
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~ The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-13165828934728610672015-04-29T06:44:00.001-07:002015-04-29T06:44:47.188-07:00A-N-X-I-E-T-Y<br />
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This week's blog post is brought to you by my 13-year-old son. I have spoken of him before. He was diagnosed with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder at the age of 7. Recently, his school held a public speaking competition and all the kids were expected to write and present a speech, 3 to 5 minutes in length. These speeches were presented in class, and then some were selected to present their speeches to a panel of judges from the community in the school gym.</div>
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The fact that my son had the confidence to even participate in this assignment was mind blowing. The fact that he chose anxiety as his topic sent my pride into high gear.</div>
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The following is a copy of his speech:</div>
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<em>"Anxiety. A-N-X-I-E-T-Y - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. Anxiety.</em></div>
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<em>Anxiety is a big problem among youth these days. 1 in 4 youth, aged 12 to 18, will be diagnosed with anxiety.</em></div>
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<em> Everyone has fear, it’s just something you’re born with. It’s your fight or flight reflex. It tells you when to run or not do something. Anxiety is when that fear is constant or over something it doesn’t need to be over. </em></div>
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<em>Did you know that 10 percent of all people in North America, Western Europe, and Australia have anxiety? Lots of famous people have anxiety and or panic disorders, such as Abraham Lincoln, Johnny Depp, Scarlett Johansson, and Adele.</em></div>
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<em>Anxiety affects a lot of things you do, such as school or work. It affects how you answer questions, who you talk to or play with, and what you say to those people. Bullying and anxiety work hand in hand. If you are bullied then your anxiety will kick in and make you nervous to go back to school or work the next day. Which affects your capability to keep up your grades, or complete what you’re supposed to at work.</em></div>
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<em>If you have anxiety, you are likely to worry about your job or school at unreasonable, or random times. You also worry about meeting new people, you avoid all awkward or new situations that may make you feel uncomfortable, and you also check things that don’t need to be checked as often as you check them.</em></div>
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<em>Your behaviour is usually under your control. Anxiety makes it so it is tough to break habits or behave the way “you” want to. Many people with anxiety get nervous ticks like a finger twitching, or blinking more often. Habits are a different type of tick but are more under your control, like chewing on your nails, or biting your lip. Anxiety also has physical symptoms and can changes how your body functions. It can affect how soundly you sleep, or you might have trouble falling asleep. There also might be changes in your posture, like slouching more, and anxiety may affect how active you are, like not having the energy to run around or play soccer with your friends.</em></div>
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<em>Unfortunately lots of people find bad ways to cope with anxiety, such as drug or alcohol abuse, but it turns out to just make the anxiety worse. Some people with anxiety are prescribed medication by their doctor. These are called depressants. They slow the brain’s function so it runs at a normal level.</em></div>
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<em>Let’s talk about some facts. Did you know that 40 million American adults live with Anxiety Disorders each year? People who suffer from anxiety are more likely to suffer from depression as well. People with anxiety are also more likely to jump to conclusions.</em></div>
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<em>Look around. If 1 in 4 kids in Canada has a diagnosed anxiety disorder, chances are, you or someone you know has anxiety."</em> </div>
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Anxiety does not define this amazing young man!</div>
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~The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-24029115963320517542015-04-13T10:17:00.003-07:002015-04-13T10:20:13.799-07:00Diagnosis: Drama Queen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We all know that the field of Mental Health has taken leaps
and bounds in the past few years. The
information, support, and mental healthcare available to our children today is
far superior to what our generation (speaking as someone in their 40s) had
access to. Was it that mental healthcare
wasn’t accessible back then, or what it just that children’s mental health wasn’t
“a thing” when we were kids?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m sure there were thousands of kids with anxiety,
depression, ADHD, etc back when we were growing up. But those kids were labelled as loners, or
hyperactive, or troublemakers. It would
have never occurred to parents in that generation to take their kids for a
mental health assessment. Kids didn’t have
mental health issues! Kids didn’t have
stress! Only adults have stress! What do kids have to be stressed about? Plenty!
I speak from experience.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m 41 now, and was diagnosed with PTSD almost 6 years ago. My 13-year-old son has a Generalized Anxiety
Disorder that was formally diagnosed at the age of 7. After learning of his diagnosis, listening to
the experts we have encountered over the years, and reading countless articles,
books, and websites, I consider myself a bit of an expert on childhood
anxiety. Having raised a child with
anxiety, I have given myself that title.
But I’ve also learned, not only through my own research, but through
watching my son navigate life, that I too struggled with anxiety as a
child. Severe anxiety. In fact, if I’m being totally honest, it is
something I very likely still suffer from, although a lifetime of self-taught
coping mechanisms have made it a bit easier to manage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Knowing what I know now about Anxiety Disorders, I very
clearly had one. Big time! And the frustrating part is that, because of
how little was known about childhood mental health when I was growing up, this
way of being that I had was labelled a personality defect, rather than a
medical diagnosis. Lovely! Do you know how additionally damaging that is
to a child? To be told that the way you
react to things is not based on science or medicine, but on the fact that there
is something wrong with your personality?
Wrong with who you are as a person?
I can tell you those scars last way into adulthood.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, my “diagnosis” was made before I was even 2 years
old. I was a Drama Queen. If I was excited about something I was
bouncing off the walls. If I was scared
or nervous I would pace, fidget, and verbally clam up. If I was frustrated or angry I would cry and
beg for someone to listen to me. No one
did. Because I was a Drama Queen. And Drama Queens will have their little
meltdowns, slam a few doors, and if you leave them alone long enough they will
come around. Back to the status quo of
emotion that is required in a house of non-drama queens. *sigh*<o:p></o:p></div>
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The saddest part about the story of little Drama Queen me is
that, in the eyes of those who matter, I never outgrew that diagnosis. To this day, 40 years later, I am still that
obnoxious little Drama Queen who disrupts the status quo of emotion that is
required in life. I am the one who rocks
the boat. The one who does not shy away
from difficult or emotional conversations.
The one who begs people to listen to her and to understand what she is
saying. The one who walks away, time
after time after time, with tears in her eyes, because no one can see past the
Drama Queen. <o:p></o:p></div>
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No one can see past that unofficial diagnosis I was given
almost 40 years ago. It haunts me to
this day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, if that is the way you wish to see me, then that is
your prerogative. I know that my
official diagnosis is PTSD with episodes of anxiety and depression.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My unofficial diagnosis:
Drama Queen. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Somebody pass me my crown!<o:p></o:p></div>
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~The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-7083158703096835232015-03-30T07:01:00.001-07:002015-03-30T07:03:07.276-07:00My Intervention Addiction<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.3em;">
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I'm sure most of you are familiar with the show "Intervention" on A&E. It's brilliant. And heartbreaking. And frustrating. And gut-wrenching. And uplifting. It is all of those things and more. Which is why I consider myself to be a bit of an Intervention addict. I cannot get enough of this show. Sunday nights I am glued to A&E. If there's a marathon playing, I'm watching. And don't even ask me how many hours I've watched online. I have truly lost count!</div>
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This show is REAL. It is filmed documentary style and the things you see happening are scary as hell. The struggles of the addicts are real. The anger and frustration of the families and loved ones are real. And again, I cannot get enough of it.</div>
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Why? Because I have been there. Smack dab in the middle of that shit-storm known as addiction. That is the only way to describe it. Addiction is a literal shit-storm. For the addict and for their loved ones. I know this because I found myself unknowingly in the middle of that shit-storm for 8 years. That's right, I spent 8 years of my life married to an addict. I am well-versed in the conversations of co-dependency and the delicate web of lies they will weave to keep you believing that things are okay. Addicts are master manipulators. And if you are the spouse, or family member, or loved one of an addict, you will eventually come to believe that YOU are the crazy one because the web of lies and manipulations have become so thick you cannot tell the truth from the lies any more. And it truly will make you crazy.</div>
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My 8 years with an addict, doing that manipulative dance, led to my eventual diagnosis of PTSD. The relationship was traumatic. The things I endured throughout that 8 years were traumatic. The 5 year legal battle that ensued upon our divorce in order to ensure the safety of my child was traumatic. And so those of us that manage to extricate ourselves from the addictive cycle do not escape unscathed. We are damaged as well. And this is why I sit transfixed in front of my TV or computer watching Intervention.</div>
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Because that shit is REAL! I grind my teeth in frustration at the addicts that refuse to put their own children ahead of their addictions. I scream at the TV every time a child is left with a relative so the addict can "prioritize." I feel compassion towards the addict when I hear their stories of childhood trauma, and hope beyond hope that someone can get through to them so they can pick up the pieces and attempt to start over. And I cry in solidarity with the husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, and children, who have watched the person they love slip away. They feel helpless. They feel hopeless. They feel hurt and anger. And they feel sadness. Sadness for the life they are watching slip away. And sadness when they look inward and realize how much of their own lives have been lost to someone else's addiction. It is a heartbreaking disease and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.</div>
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The last 30 seconds of Intervention is usually a black screen where a written update is posted on the addict and their progress. I hold my breath every time. And every time, I cry. If the update states that the addict has left treatment early and gone back to their old habits I cry tears of sadness for them, and tears of anger and frustration for their family members. I have been one of those family members, and knowing you and your child were not the priority just breaks you all over again. And if the update is positive, something along the lines of "So and so has been sober since May, 2013" I cry tears of joy, for the recovering addict and for the people who love them.</div>
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Addiction is a horrible, horrible disease. I have the utmost respect for those who can bring themselves to get help and turn their lives around. You are the bravest of the brave. My heart aches for those who cannot, as I have seen first-hand the kind of life that will lead you to. And to those of you who love or have loved an addict, I send you strength. Strength to deal with your own issues while the addict you love is in recovery. Or the strength to hold to your boundaries and walk away. Because sometimes THAT is the act of love you need to give yourself.</div>
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I chose the latter. The act of love I gave to myself and my then 5-year-old son was to walk away. Because his father had chosen his addiction over his wife and child.</div>
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And that is why I hold my breath during those last 30 seconds of Intervention. I hold my breath in anticipation. Hoping that the addict that has been offered this amazing gift of a new life will be smart enough and strong enough to take it. My ex-husband did not have that strength. But I continue to hold my breath each week for the millions who do.</div>
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~ The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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*Several of my posts regarding mental health can also been seen here on the website for Healthy Minds Canada - http://healthymindscanada.ca/blog/</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-39647698976793832292015-03-17T08:18:00.000-07:002015-03-17T08:20:18.737-07:00Taming the Worry Dragons<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My 13 year old son started with a new therapist recently. We moved to a new town about 6 months ago and have been searching for someone suitable since our move. He had been in therapy previously for his Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and had been utilizing the skills he had been taught over the years, but we knew that ongoing support in the form of therapy would be necessary for him. Navigating the teen years without anxiety is hard enough. Navigating it WITH anxiety is going to be a challenge.</div>
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<a name='more'></a>From his first meeting with the new therapist they hit it off. She is young, cool, knows about video games, and they share a love of fish and aquariums. This was a match made in therapy heaven!</div>
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What I loved, that had never been done before, was that she asked my son what his worries looked like. What did he see in his head when he was feeling anxious or panicked. His answer: Dragons. Worry dragons, to be exact. Dragons that scared him. Dragons that told him he would fail tests, that kids would tease him, that bad things would happen. And although he didn't want to listen to them, they were powerful, as dragons tend to be.</div>
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So, having learned of my son's love of video games, this astute therapist told him to envision the dragons as if they were part of a video game, with my son holding the controller with the power to slay them. Brilliant! Freaking brilliant!</div>
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What I loved even more was my son's explanation of this that evening at dinner. He announced that, although cool therapist had told him to slay the dragons, he would prefer to tame them. Why, I asked. And, once again proving he is wise beyond his 13 years, he stated that even though the Worry Dragons scared him, he knew he needed them. That instead of slaying them, he wanted to tame them so they were his friends, under his control, and could be utilized by him when he needed them. I was speechless. This happens often with my kid. ;)</div>
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And so he will return to his new therapist in a few days for his next appointment, and maturely explain to her that he will not be slaying the Worry Dragons, but taming them. Because, in life, there are times when we all need those special dragons we have tamed, to help us over the next hurdle.</div>
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~ The Lazy Gourmet</div>
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-40076467648275048722015-02-26T11:50:00.001-08:002015-02-26T11:51:38.577-08:00The Coffee Lie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I should preface this blog post by saying that I'm a little pissed off at the moment. No, no, that's not true. I'm a LOT pissed off at the moment. And that anger has led to hurt, and confusion......and this blog post. <br />
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I've learned something very important over the past few months. A life lesson of sorts. And it's this......the world's biggest lie:<br />
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"We should go for coffee."<br />
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It's a lie! Not a tiny fib. Not a good intention gone awry. Not a minor slip of the old memory. It's a lie. It's what people say to you to end a conversation. To make themselves feel better about not really wanting to talk to you any more via whatever forum they are currently talking to you - Facebook, email, in person God forbid! They just come out with it - "We should go for coffee." To which you reply, "That would be great. Let me know what works for you." And that, my friends, is the end of it. For real. THE. END. <br />
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You can even follow up with them:<br />
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- "Hey there. Did you still want to get that coffee?"<br />
- "Yeah totally. Been really busy lately. I'll let you know what works for me"<br />
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And then.....yeah....you know the drill. THE. END.<br />
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I give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time. Although maybe I should stop! I assume that life got busy, kids got sick, work was nutty, etc, etc. That is life. I get it. And I am guilty myself of telling someone that things are crazy busy and that now is not really a great time for me. But that's what makes me a grown up! If you invite me for coffee and I say "You know what, my kid has been sick all week and I am still on a quest for full-time employment (true story!), can I get back to you when things slow down?" - that's the truth. My truth. My reality. It means that I would love to go for coffee with you, but that now is just not a good time. And when now becomes a good time, I get in touch with you and we have that coffee date. <br />
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I have so many examples of "The Coffee Lie" in my text and email history it's not even funny. I wonder, at times, whether this is a universal issue or if the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances have an aversion to coffee with me, specifically. Seriously! <br />
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I have followed up with these people to make sure they are ok. To touch base in case they are going through something difficult. They will use me for 5 minutes of chit chat or to unload, but when I ask "Hey, did you still want to get that coffee?" the same old same old comes out - "Yeah! Totally! I'll message you some dates." THE. END.<br />
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The best is when THEY are the one who suggests getting together and then it falls flat. You agree that coffee or lunch would be great. You send them some dates and times that would work for you. They did say we should get together after all. And then you get radio silence. THE. END.<br />
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I'm usually pretty clear and concise with my writing but I am so livid right now that I know this is turning into a blabbering mess. One of my very first posts on this blog was called "Friendship - The Two-Way Street That Wasn't." Sadly, things have not changed. Not only have they not changed but my attempts to rekindle or start new friendships with people who were once just friendly acquaintances have fallen flat as well. What the hell is going on?!?!<br />
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Do you already have enough friends and there is no more room in your heart or your calendar for one more?! If that is the case then lucky you.<br />
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Are you afraid to actually commit to plans because something better, more interesting, or more important may come up?! If that is the case then good luck keeping any friends.<br />
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Or have you decided that you really don't want to have coffee with me and are just too afraid to say so?! If that is the case then I suggest you grow a pair. Seriously! We are adults here. If you don't want to pursue or maintain a friendship with me then that is your prerogative, but at least be adult enough to say so. I'm a big girl. I can handle it. And quite frankly, if this is the way you treat your friends then I probably don't want to be one of them anyway.<br />
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I know I sound angry. And I am. But it also hurts. It hurts that people whom you thought were your friends don't really want to spend time with you, despite the effort to do so on your part. It hurts that people you felt wanted to get to know you better (hence them inviting you for coffee) really don't, and that was just their "exit" from the conversation.<br />
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And it hurts because when you move to a new town at 40 years old you want to make new friends. You want to maintain old friendships. And you want to be open and willing to meet new people so you don't feel so alone. And so when someone says to you - "We should go for coffee" - you get excited, you check you calendar, you get back to them, you think they really do want to spend time with you.....except.....they don't.<br />
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It's just The Coffee Lie.<br />
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THE. END.<br />
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~ TheLazyGourmet<br />
<br />TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-35564797862203385982014-11-02T12:06:00.000-08:002014-11-02T12:07:03.004-08:00"No" Is A Complete Sentence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I sit here writing this, I have no idea if this will ever be published. But I'm writing because it needs to come out. Because I am strengthened and inspired by all the #beenrapedneverreported stories trending on Twitter right now, and because it has remained hidden in the shadows for too long.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why? Because until this very week, when the Jian Ghomeshi story broke and this tragic, yet inspiring, Twitter hashtag came to be, I had no name for it. It wasn't "rape." Or so I thought. I know it had been wrong. I knew I had said no, repeatedly, and yet it happened anyway, but not until this week had I ever called it rape. I don't think I ever called it anything, quite frankly. Because until this very moment as I sit here typing, I never spoke of it. No one ever knew it happened. Until right now......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Deep breath.......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, here's my story. I was 15. He was 18. He was my boyfriend at the time. We had been dating about 6 months. I knew he was "experienced" and was no longer a virgin. I was. Quite steadfastly, I might add. We had actually had decent conversations about sex and he knew that I wasn't ready. For a few months he seemed ok with that and respected my boundaries. And then, one night, he didn't. It wasn't intercourse (which was why I never called it rape) but it was sexual, and it was unwanted, and I said no. More than once. I don't feel the need to go into any further detail. The bottom line is, it happened. And you, as you read this, are the first people I have ever told. After almost 25 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The reasons I chose not to tell anyone are many:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1) Back then, "rape" conjured images of creepy old men jumping out of bushes and attacking you. I knew this guy. We went to school together. He was my boyfriend! That wasn't rape.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2) My parents. I can't say now what their reaction would have been, but 15-year-old me thought they would flip. Sex was not discussed in our home. Not even in an educational "here are the facts you need to know" sense. It was just an unspoken rule that you would wait until you were married and that was the end of that. *sigh*</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3) My reputation. Ironically, I was more afraid of being labelled a "prude" for not allowing my own boyfriend to touch me, than I was anything else. Because everyone else was having sex right? Probably not, but I believed it at the time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4) Fear. The emotional (yet irrational) fear of a normal 15 year old, that the cool, hot, 18-year-old guy who finds her attractive may dump her ass. (Sad, I know, but we've all been that girl) And the physical fear. This guy was a bad-ass. He dealt dope from his locker, was rumoured to have robbed a local restaurant (this could just be a small-town rumour, but it did go around) and, on more than one occasion, he carried a gun in his duffel bag. Dude was bad news. And I was smitten. Sad. Very sad, in hindsight. But very true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You want to hear the utterly ironic part? I had a reputation in high school. People thought I was slutty. Which always made me laugh, and still does. I was the girl who always hung around with the guys. Guys always made more sense to me. I still find it easier to relate to men than to women. And I always had a boyfriend. And so these 2 facts, hanging out with guys and always having a boyfriend meant, to the general high school population, that I was easy, slutty, whatever lovely highschool-ish term you'd like to use. I knew it wasn't true. I knew these guys were just friends and that my virginity was steadfastly intact, but no one else believed it. And so I just let them believe otherwise. Who cares, right? Well, it turns out, I should have. I should have cared what people thought of me, even though they were wrong, because it made it straight up impossible for me to tell anyone of this instance with Bad Boy and have them take it seriously.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh to be able to go back and chat with that girl. She didn't do anything wrong. Did she have low self esteem? Hell to the yeah! Did she hang out with guys who smoked and wore leather jackets? Yup. Did she date a few of them? Yup. Did she go to parties and drink a little? Yup. Did she wear her jeans too tight? Yup. Did she desperately want to be liked and accepted? Yup. But none of these things made what happened to her OK. And she is just now, just this week, at almost 41 years old, coming to that realization.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so I salute all the women (and men) who are speaking out as victims of rape and sexual assault using the #beenrapedneverreported hashtag. I salute your bravery. I salute your sorrow. I salute your strength. And I pray that this will bring change. Change to our level of acceptance, and change to the way government and law enforcement handle these issues.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is my story the worst of the worst? No. But it is my story. And it has now been told...for the very first time.</span><br />
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-73673509662764531252014-10-09T10:40:00.002-07:002014-10-09T10:41:12.915-07:00Off We Go.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Join us as we begin our journey to bring another Little Free Library to Grimsby!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our Facebook page is up and running here - https://www.facebook.com/littlefreelibrarymovementgrimsby</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Feel free to join us on this journey as we crowd fund, collect books, and engage our community in this amazing project.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Give our Facebook page a LIKE and a SHARE and help us make this dream a reality for our neighbourhood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy Reading!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">~ The Lazy Gourmet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-51242550517032609872014-10-05T11:26:00.002-07:002014-10-05T11:27:30.338-07:00The Little Free Library Movement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> So, in case you haven't noticed, I have become OBSESSED with the Little Free Library Movement since discovering there are 2 (that I know of) in Grimsby already. They are beyond cute and the most basic, yet important, idea ever!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you are not familiar with the premise and history of the program, I would suggest you read a bit about their history here - http://littlefreelibrary.org/ourhistory/</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been a lifelong lover of books. Even the smell of them makes me happy. And yes, I do realize this is strange. But let's be honest, the smell of a bookstore is amazing! You know you've had that feeling of relaxation the moment you walked into one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Books have always done that for me. When I was a kid, they were an escape. An escape into a world that was better than my own. A world where good always triumphed over evil, where the Princess always get her Prince Charming (which I would learn later in life sometimes takes 40 years and a few frogs along the way), and where Ferdinand the bull could sit "just quietly under the cork tree smelling the flowers" and that was just fine. :) I swear I borrowed that book from the library at least 50 times as a kid. And I bought it for my own son when he was little and we have literally worn it out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As an adult, books have become a source of information. To learn about difficult topics like addiction and depression - both of which have touched my life in various forms. To hear the expertise of doctors, therapists, and other parents, in learning how to best help a child with debilitating anxiety.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And to escape........because there is nothing better than being sucked into Gone Girl, The Kiterunner, or Three Cups of Tea and not realizing that the hours are ticking by.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so, after much discussion with my 12-year-old son, who is also a book-lover, we have made it our mission to bring another Little Free Library to Grimsby. One right here in our own neighbourhood. One right here on our own front lawn. My significant other was not quite as enthusiastic, but soon realized that he was heavily outnumbered. Yay! :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There should be nothing more universal than a love of books. And what better way to bring a neighbourhood together than to allow them to "Take A Book, Leave A Book" whenever they choose. So simple. So brilliant!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We have some great ideas so far, but are still in the early planning stages. We are hoping for a spring "launch" of our Little Free Library, and will continue to keep you posted of our progress along the way. I am hoping to launch a Facebook page for this project soon so that you can more easily follow our progress, and I will post that link here in the near future.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Until then, thank you for continuing to take the time to visit this blog, and for sharing it with your friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">~ The Lazy Gourmet</span><br />
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-88368551792051492192014-10-04T06:43:00.001-07:002014-10-05T12:11:17.898-07:00I Am Finally Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have to begin this post with a HUGE thank you to all of you who read my blog on a regular basis, and to those of you who are new here over the past little while. The response to my last post</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">entitled "My New Small-Town Life" has been nothing short of overwhelming. It has been read (to date) more than 225 times, shared on Facebook pages and websites, and I even received a message from the woman who owns the Little Free Library that I raved about! Talk about a small world! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When something that you are so passionate about becomes something other people enjoy, it truly is the best feeling. :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am not a writer. My educational background is in Broadcast Journalism so I guess I do have some training in that department, and I certainly have been accused of being a "grammar nazi" in my time. But I'm finding this whole writing thing to be a wonderful creative outlet for me now. Not only because I can write about and share things that I am passionate about, but also because, after closing my dance studio 3 years ago (wow, time flies!), those creative juices were still flowing and yet I felt for a long time that they had nowhere to go. And now they do! :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And who would not have their creative juices start to flow when they are surrounded by all of this........</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The photos in this post were all taken right here in Grimsby, Ontario. My new inspiration for creativity and, quite frankly, my sanity. I truly feel different here. I cannot explain why. Many people have noticed the difference in me and asked, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I just feels like home. Plain and simple.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My son and I laughed when we first moved here and saw that Grimsby's motto is "Friendly By Nature." People would hold doors for us and we would giggle to each other and say "friendly by nature." Others would wave to us while out walking the dog and we would again giggle and say "friendly by nature." Except it's freakin' contagious!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty nice person. But being outwardly friendly to strangers was not something I did on a regular basis. Not because I was being rude, but because I just preferred to keep to myself and let others do the same. Not here! That is not allowed in Grimsby. :) You must wave to your neighbours, chat with other dog owners in the park, tell the check-out lady at the grocery store about your kid, and scout out the town looking for Little Free Libraries! And when you tell people you just moved here, they will proceed to tell you all the wonderful things about this little Friendly By Nature town while the ice cream melts in your shopping cart. True story. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so maybe that is why I feel at home here. Why I am so enthusiastic about this little place. Because everyone else is too! Seriously! It's a bit loopy! Everyone loves it here! People will tell you what restaurants to go to, where to buy the best shoes (totally need to check that place out), they will recommend vets, dog kennels, dentists, parks, and on and on and on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They will unabashedly tell you that you made the best decision in the world moving here from the Big City. (that still makes me laugh) And will then tell you one of 2 things; either that they have lived here their whole life and would never dream of living anywhere else, or that they also relocated here recently and isn't it just the best place ever and everyone is so friendly! I seriously think there is something in the water!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And here is proof of that. The main squeeze and I were out wandering downtown yesterday - we went for breakfast, wandered into Harmony Jewellers (again!), took a walk past the Grimsby Museum, and then found another Little Free Library! I was ecstatic! I had been told there was another one downtown and was determined to hunt it down. I hope the woman who owns this one will contact me as well. I'm pretty obsessed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I digress. As we were walking, taking pictures, and squealing about the Little Free Library (ok the squealing part was just me), T says to me "How come you never smiled this much in Burlington?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ummmmm........I'm not sure. Burlington was home for 30 years. Great place to live. Loved it there. But for some as-yet-undetermined reason, Grimsby just feels like home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Finally, at 40 years old.....I am home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">~ The Lazy Gourmet</span><br />
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<br />TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-79998693355235274902014-09-30T06:40:00.002-07:002014-10-05T12:11:28.891-07:00My New Small-Town Life<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildatCcVuQ6ygkIIV7mWgDv2ZTkimhnCK-vqUB76S_eWNGEU9nYRPYmMiRIG545GnovCZAqHljbZ45mPYdHKOYM7FM-Yi0UTGVh5LyVHkbGFG-vzWTjk2nKcRSgOoWBbCvuMNEbvUm1lc/s1600/2014-09-27+15.19.54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildatCcVuQ6ygkIIV7mWgDv2ZTkimhnCK-vqUB76S_eWNGEU9nYRPYmMiRIG545GnovCZAqHljbZ45mPYdHKOYM7FM-Yi0UTGVh5LyVHkbGFG-vzWTjk2nKcRSgOoWBbCvuMNEbvUm1lc/s1600/2014-09-27+15.19.54.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For 3o of the past 40 years of my life, I lived in what I deemed to be a medium-sized city. Burlington, Ontario - current population 285, 000. We had everything we needed right there - a great hospital, waterfront trails and beaches, annual music festivals, Canada's Largest RibFest! Did I mention RibFest? ;) And because I had lived there for 30 years Burlington grew along with me, so it never felt big to me. I could get around it with my eyes closed, knew where obscure little side streets were when people mentioned them, and could do that whole "jeez remember when the Go Station was a corn field?" thing, that proves you have grown right along with your city.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then, 4 months ago, we made the decision to uproot ourselves from that safety zone (my 12 year old son has never lived anywhere else) and move to Grimsby - population 25, 200. Blending households with a significant other in your 40s inevitably means one party makes the sacrifice of moving to the other party's comfort zone. We were willing to make that sacrifice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so, Grimsby, here we are! We have been here less than 8 weeks and not for one second has it felt like a sacrifice. WE LOVE IT HERE! Who knew?!? That me, self-proclaimed City Girl, could love a small town in the middle of Niagara Wine Country? OK, let's be honest, the wine part helps. :P</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel at home. I feel like this is what I have been waiting for. I know that sounds corny but it's true. My son told me last week that our old house in Burlington never felt like home to him (we moved there after my divorce from his dad), but that Grimsby feels like home. :) There is no higher praise than that to prove to me that we made the right decision.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, if you happen to be on my Facebook page, you are probably tired of hearing how wonderful Grimsby is! Every day (or at least every weekend) we discover something wonderful about this small town. A great park, a street festival, a yummy restaurant, the farmer's market........a Little Free Library!!! Yes!! Really!! I thought they were a myth.....but no.....they exist in Grimsby. How cool is that?!?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This past weekend we took full advantage of Doors Open Grimsby. We walked the "main drag" (which is about 2 blocks) and took in the classic car show. We wandered into Harmony Jewellers and looked at rings. (that's a whole other blog post!) We had lunch at Syndicate. Which you totally MUST do! We rode the old school trolley around town (loud and windy, but a cool experience). And we went to Grimsby Beach......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh. My. God. Grimsby Beach. Never in my life have I encountered anything quite like it. I was dumbfounded! I felt like I had been transported to CandyLand and I freaking LOVED IT! The Grimsby Beach Painted Ladies, as they are called, were literally the highlight of my year. If you don't believe me, ask my realtor, whom I called when we got home and told her one of these was in my retirement plan (yeah I know it's 20 years from now) and to keep her eyes open for one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The pictures I have taken and the small town experiences we have had since we moved here could fill many, many blog posts. And they will, so stay tuned! But for now, I will leave you with pictures of the Grimsby Beach Painted Ladies, and a shot of the oh-so-cool Little Free Library, that were taken at the Doors Open Grimsby Festival this past weekend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This move has been life-changing for us. Sacrifice? What sacrifice? :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">~ The Lazy Gourmet</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-85207100481394138132014-06-24T08:22:00.000-07:002014-06-24T08:23:14.770-07:00The Power of a Positive Environment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Between February and June of this year it was proven to us, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what kind of extreme power lies in a positive school environment.</i><br />
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<i>I'll use 2 children as examples:</i><br />
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<i><u>Child #1</u></i><br />
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- <i>feels anxious and overwhelmed all day at school (when he is able to attend)</i><br />
<i>- wakes up every morning with severe stomach cramps due to anxiety over school</i><br />
<i>- has to be encouraged every morning to "just try" to get ready for school</i><br />
<i>- has many mornings where his anxiety is so intense he cannot get out the front door</i><br />
<i>- has had such severe panic attacks over going to school that he has thrown up in the front hall before ever leaving the house</i><br />
<i>- missed 6 months of school in Grade 5 and attended sporadically (at best) for the first few months of Grade 6</i><br />
<i>- was unable to participate in school sporting events, outdoor activity days or school-related field trips, and stayed home on days when these events were to to take place</i><br />
<i>- has taken anti-anxiety medication since the age of 7 for a diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)</i><br />
<i>- had difficulty making and maintaining friendships</i><br />
<i>- was picked on mercilessly by "friends" for being open and honest about his anxiety symptoms and what made him nervous and anxious</i><br />
<i>- had average marks, at best, and was consistently told he was not putting in enough effort</i><br />
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<i><u>Child #2</u></i><br />
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<i>- jumps out of bed every morning excited to go to school (Yes, really!)</i><br />
<i>- sits at breakfast every morning and talks my ear off about all the cool things he is going to do at school today</i><br />
<i>- is regularly at the door ready to go before I am</i><br />
<i>- has not had a full-blown panic attack in 4 months</i><br />
<i>- knows what to do and who to speak to when he is feeling anxious. And when he does this, he feels supported</i><br />
<i>- he trusts in his teachers and his friends. Something he has never experienced before</i><br />
<i>- makes sure I email the teacher about extra work if he has to take a sick day from school</i><br />
<i>- made me deliver a science project to the school on a sick day so it would not be handed in late. It was that important to him!</i><br />
<i>- has, since February, participated in a school ski trip, a regional track meet at York University, a salmon-release field trip, a school oratorical competition, the annual Spring Concert, an outdoor Sports Day, the annual field day/play day, etc, etc, etc.</i><br />
<i>- uttered the statement "I wish school could keep going through the summer" Wow!</i><br />
<i>- received his Second Term report card (first one from new school) with nothing less than a B- and glowing remarks from all of his teachers</i><br />
<i>- is excited about Grade 7 and all of the clubs and activities he plans to join</i><br />
<i>- and last, but most certainly not least, IS OFF HIS MEDICATION!</i><br />
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<i>Child #1 and Child #2 are the same child. Less than 5 months apart. Child #1 existed in my home for 6 years. Child #2 emerged in February. I could cry with relief!</i><br />
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<i>It is so very basic. Trust, encouragement, support, kindness. That's it. </i><br />
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<i>That type of environment has always existed within our home, but we struggled to find it in the public school system. Despite a principal we loved, who did everything within her limited power to do right by my son, that environment was elusive.</i><br />
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<i>He struggled. He cried. He failed tests. He vomited. He was scared. Of everything!</i><br />
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<i>And when I felt I had done everything within my power for the past 7 years, and had cried myself to sleep enough times to flood the house, a call came.</i><br />
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<i>A call from someone within the public school system who had worked closely with my son. Someone who knew he was struggling and that the broken public system was not enough for him. She suggested (off the record, of course) that I look into private school.</i><br />
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<i>And so I did. If you have ever met me you know that I do nothing half-assed, especially when it comes to my kid! I researched, I made calls, I surfed the web, I attended expos and open houses. And I did it. Finally. I found the trusting, encouraging, supportive, kind environment that my son so desperately needed.</i><br />
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<i>Teachers who want to be there. Who will talk to parents, answer emails, attend meetings, send extra work for problem areas, correspond with tutors, give up their breaks to help a child who is struggling. Teachers who know that every kid is different and every kid needs different things. And class sizes that allow them to do that. To teach, and nurture, and really get to know, each and every student that walks into their classroom. The kind of teachers that my child needs to have. Always!</i><br />
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<i>I do believe there are teachers like this in the public system as well, but I have seen with my own eyes that even the good teachers in the public system are so overwhelmed by their class sizes that a lot of great teachers with good intentions are not able to be the kind of teachers they wish they could be. (Please don't send hate mail. Just my opinion.)</i><br />
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<i>And so Child #1 has become Child #2. Medication free. Happy. Enthusiastic about learning. Dedicated to his education. Excited about the future.</i><br />
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<i>And so thank you, to everyone who has been a part of our new-found private school journey. Thank you for allowing Child #1 to come out of the shadows and become the amazing human being this mother has always known him to be.</i><br />
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<i>From the bottom of my heart.....thank you!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
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<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-27609502411386609302014-06-04T06:36:00.002-07:002014-06-04T06:37:27.667-07:00More Gluten-Free Hits & Misses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvEeHowij-7tW8XWV5iPTK3qj4tt0cKnNUvCcuRm9pNKfXP4f5eLgfy7V2ZCNyAkI5AAw9odrHWhXJiNSz17e4V186ITbXWMiaQYU5tF2uw3gu9wkLsFq7509Gr5bvQYWnWH96eKUeQ2A/s1600/glutenfree5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvEeHowij-7tW8XWV5iPTK3qj4tt0cKnNUvCcuRm9pNKfXP4f5eLgfy7V2ZCNyAkI5AAw9odrHWhXJiNSz17e4V186ITbXWMiaQYU5tF2uw3gu9wkLsFq7509Gr5bvQYWnWH96eKUeQ2A/s1600/glutenfree5.jpg" /></a></div>
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<i>Hello GF peeps, and Happy Wednesday! Time for another addition of Gluten-Free Hits & Misses, as we continue to try new things every day on our gluten-free journey. So off we go......</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Compliments Gluten-Free Brown Rice Pasta - </b>an absolute <b style="color: red;">HIT! </b>We have tried other brown rice pastas and found them to be OK, but all had that tell-tale "gritty" texture which I personally do not care for. I want my GF pasta to taste like traditional pasta. And this one does! The best part - you can get it at the grocery store (Sobeys) instead of a speciality store and it's very affordable at $2.49. I will definitely be buying this on a regular basis.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Annie's Gluten-Free Rice Pasta & Cheddar - </b>this is basically the gluten-free version of Kraft Dinner (or Kraft Mac & Cheese for my friends south of the border) and it is pretty darn good! A definite <b style="color: red;">HIT </b>for taste and texture with both myself and my son. The <b style="color: red;">MISS </b>factor is the price - $3.99 for a box of mac & cheese! Yikes! I bought a different brand to try this week that was more than a dollar less so we will see how that turns out and I'll keep you posted. </i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Bob's Red Mill Wheat Free Muesli - </b>Hmmmmm, the jury is still out on this one. And an important <b style="color: purple;">NOTE: wheat free does not necessarily mean gluten-free so if you are Celiac then you need to read the labels carefully. </b>Which I'm sure you know, but just want to make sure. :) The package suggests this be soaked in milk, fruit juice, or plain yogurt for 5-10 minutes before eating. We tried the milk version and found it not to our liking, mostly because it didn't soften up very well. The hubby tried it with vanilla yogurt this morning and said it was great! The rest of us will have to give that a try. So, for now I will give it a <b style="color: red;">HIT/MISS</b> and see what we think of the yogurt version.</i><br />
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<i>My kitchen and pantry are slowly but surely filling up with gluten-free products we are enjoying. It is a slow (and sometimes frustrating) process, but we are determined to get there and make this work for my son. The difference in his health these past 4 weeks has been amazing!</i><br />
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<i>We hope you are enjoying and learning from our journey as we learn from so many of you.</i><br />
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<i>Have a wonderful day!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-18382045378496580772014-05-29T13:27:00.001-07:002014-05-29T13:31:20.741-07:00Anxiety Has Opened My Eyes, Mom....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Many, many times in my 12+ years as a mother, I have been stunned speechless by the wisdom of my son. Usually with statements far beyond his 12 years. Last night was another such time.</i><br />
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<i>This story <a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_902505320">h</a></i><i><a href="ttp://www.cbsnews.com/news/darpa-program-to-develop-brain-implants-for-mental-disorders/">ttp://www.cbsnews.com/news/darpa-program-to-develop-brain-implants-for-mental-disorders/</a> came on the news and gave us pause for discussion.</i><br />
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<i>Now, if you're not up for reading the article (I get it, you're busy!) I'll summarize it for you. In a nutshell, they are developing brain implants that could possibly assist in managing the symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. It is still in the early stages of development, but it brought up a valid question in our house, since my son was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) at the age of 5.</i><br />
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<i>Since we have been working hard with doctors, therapists, teachers, etc, for many years to assist him in managing his symptoms, I wondered aloud what his thoughts would be on something that would eradicate the anxiety altogether.</i><br />
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<i>His surprising answer - NO WAY!</i><br />
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<i>I paraphrase here, but this is the gist of what my oh-so-wise 12 year old said:</i><br />
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<i>"I would never want to eliminate my anxiety altogether Mom. I think it has opened my eyes. It has made me see things more clearly. It has made me stop and think, and consider things more deeply before I act. And I think because of my anxiety I make much more responsible decisions than most kids my age."</i><br />
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<i>And that, my friends, is the truth!</i><br />
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<i>So kudos to modern science for taking steps to help those who wish to eradicate the symptoms of these illnesses they suffer from. And more power to those who choose to go this route. It is a personal choice, and you have the right to choose what is right for you.</i><br />
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<i>But for us........anxiety has opened my eyes, Mom. And we'll keep it, thanks very much!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-42007087913171500152014-05-28T14:06:00.002-07:002014-05-28T14:07:38.937-07:00The Results Are In!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Well folks, the results are in! Our family doctor called yesterday with the results of my son's abdominal ultrasound and blood work. It is essentially good news but still leaves a lot of questions regarding what he can and cannot eat.</i><br />
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<i>The good news - he does NOT have Celiac disease, but our removal of gluten from his diet over the past 3 weeks has definitely proven that he has a gluten intolerance. </i><br />
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<i>The abdominal ultrasound was "unremarkable" and through a process of elimination he has been officially diagnosed with IBS due to anxiety, and gluten intolerance.</i><br />
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<i>A great deal of relief that nothing of interest showed up in the tests, although I do kind of feel like an IBS diagnosis basically means "we can't figure out your stomach issues but here's what we'll call it."</i><br />
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<i>You could say the relief was contagious because my son's reaction was "It's a good thing they didn't find anything because I am NOT having any more blood tests!" :)</i><br />
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<i>I second that! Both of us turning green in the blood lab was something I could do without having to do again any time soon!</i><br />
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<i>And so......it appears our gluten-free journey continues!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
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<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-70571090634570277512014-05-24T07:16:00.000-07:002014-05-24T07:17:22.757-07:00Gluten-Free Hits & Misses - Weekend Edition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Happy Weekend GF peeps! And Happy Memorial Day Weekend to my friends south of the border! For us, this weekend will be spent continuing to pack for our move in August. Although we are excited about the move, this whole packing and purging deal sucks! I'm just sayin'......</i><br />
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<i>Anyway, in an effort to delay that fun-filled job for as long as possible (just being honest!) I thought I'd share a few more Hits & Misses that we discovered this past week.</i><br />
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<i>A "Snack Food Edition" suitable for the weekend. :)</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Cookie It Up Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies - </b>Can I just say.....OH.MY.GOD! These are, hands down, the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever tried. Gluten-free or otherwise. Major <b style="color: red;">HIT! </b> They are like little, melt-in-your-mouth shortbread drops filled with chocolate chips. I am embarrassed to admit that I ate the entire box and I am not even the gluten-free one in the house! Oops! :)</i><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-weight: bold;">Nature's Path Envirokids Crispy Rice Granola Bars - </span>another <b style="color: red;">HIT </b>for Nature's Path. We seem to be having very good luck with their products so far. These bars come in several different flavours and my son likes the "Lemur Bars" the best. I can't remember what flavour they are but they (obviously!) have a lemur on the box.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Enjoy Life Mixed Berry Baked Chewy Bars - </b>we have a difference of opinion regarding these. I thought they were a <b style="color: red;">HIT</b>, my son however, rates them a <b style="color: red;">MISS. </b>They are nice and soft and full of flavour, although I admit that they are VERY small and there are only 5 in the box. They are about half the size of your average granola bar, so keep that in mind. They are also nut-free and soy-free if that is of importance to you.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Glutino Gluten-Free Pretzels - </b>Damn these are good!! Pardon my french! My son and I both rate these a major <b style="color: red;">HIT</b>, and that's a big deal for me because normally I don't even like pretzels! They are super crunchy and the perfect cure for that crunchy, salty snack we all crave from time to time. I also love how big the bag is! Although at the rate we are eating them I'm not sure how long they will last. *wink*</i><br />
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<i>I hope you are all finding our little reviews helpful. I would love to hear about some of your Hits & Misses as well, if you have the time to comment and share. You can also find us on Twitter @lazygourmetblog.</i><br />
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<i>Have a wonderful weekend!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-57739345816727739712014-05-23T08:16:00.001-07:002014-05-23T08:17:17.768-07:00Getting To the Bottom Of Things....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>I am happy to report that my kitchen, fridge, and pantry are now approximately 50% gluten-free. As my son is the only one who NEEDS to be gluten-free, I find we are slowly paring down on the "old" food and replacing it with the GF variety. </i><br />
<a name='more'></a><i> Case in point - grilled cheese for dinner a few nights ago involved my son having his on GF bread and us having ours on "regular" bread as there was still a loaf in the fridge and 2 in the freezer! We will certainly not waste the food we already have, even though we are all trying to be gluten-reduced, while my son goes gluten-free. These things are slowly but surely being replaced with gluten-free products, some more successfully than others, as seen in my previous posts!</i><br />
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<i>My son has now been gluten-free for 15 days and we are seeing a remarkable improvement in stomach issues that have plagued him for years! Poor guy! Due to his diagnosed anxiety disorder, most doctors and therapists we encountered over the years attributed the stomach issues to the underlying anxiety and went about trying to treat that. Although I initially thought this made sense, the physical symptoms were not improving, even though the psychological ones were. Puzzling.....</i><br />
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<i>Just over 2 weeks ago we visited our family doctor and I explained the situation. Again! Hoping for another possible solution to seeing my son doubled over in pain almost daily. The doctor ordered blood tests and an abdominal ultrasound, in addition to suggesting a possible gluten intolerance. Thanks for mentioning that possibility 2 years ago dude! Really?!?</i><br />
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<i>I digress.......so, the short story is, although frustrated that this was not mentioned before, we are thankful that it was mentioned now, as it appears to be part, if not all, of the issue. He has had no stomach pains since eliminating the gluten 15 days ago.</i><br />
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<i>Yesterday I took my son for the blood work and abdominal ultrasound. He was so scared but was very brave. He thought the ultrasound was pretty cool, and loved the story about my ultrasound when I was pregnant with him and how I almost peed on the table! Oh come on, you KNOW it feels like you are going to pee on the table!</i><br />
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<i>When we were seeing his gallbladder, spleen, kidneys, etc on the ultrasound screen, he turned to me and said "How do my insides look Mom?" My response, "Well bud, I've never seen your insides before but they look pretty good to me." :)</i><br />
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<i>He wanted to tell his friends at school that he had an ultrasound and announce "It's A Boy!" I suggested maybe this was not the best idea! :)</i><br />
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<i>The blood work was traumatic. Although he did enjoy watching all the old men coming in and out of the bathroom in the lab waiting room with their bottles of pee. "Eeeeoooo, Mom, that guy has really dark pee!" Talk about TMI. Although it did distract him from his nerves about the blood work.</i><br />
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<i>I went in with him to try and keep him calm and distracted. And trust me, this was difficult, because needles make me want to faint! Our nurse was wonderful and explained everything to him as she went along. Even though I told him to just look away and think about something else for a few seconds, he insisted on watching and I thought the poor kid was going to pass out!! He literally turned green and then white as a sheet! The nurse had to pat his cheeks and tell him to talk to her, while I am trying not to pass out myself! That would have been good! A 2-for-1 deal in the fainting department!</i><br />
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<i>His voice suddenly got really loud and he says "Mom, all of my parts are numb! Am I talking really loud?" It was freakin' hilarious and just what we needed to break the tension. He recovered, and was very proud of the "bunny" that his nurse made out of the bandage/cotton on his arm.</i><br />
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<i>I walked him to the car, as he was still pretty pale and a bit shaky, but a drink box and a GF cereal bar later and he was feeling better and ready to head off to school to tell everyone about his adventure.</i><br />
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<i>I was proud of him. I AM proud of him. He understood these tests were important for his health and overcame something he was frightened of, despite the underlying anxiety that is always present for him. He did great!</i><br />
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<i>Results are expected next week and we are keeping our fingers crossed that a gluten intolerance is his only issue because, quite frankly, I'm not sure either one of us could handle any more blood work!</i><br />
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<i>Am I talking really loud? All my parts are numb! :)</i><br />
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<i>Happy weekend!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-79001120818511517652014-05-22T08:26:00.000-07:002014-05-22T09:00:29.423-07:00Gluten Free - 2 Hits & 2 Misses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Good morning everyone! And a warm hello to all of our new followers. Udi's Gluten-Free was kind enough to direct many of you to my blog via their Twitter account and I am very thankful for the kind words and useful advice that has been coming our way. As many of you know, we are only 2 weeks into this gluten-free journey and it is an adventure filled with trial and error. So, as we try to figure out what my son likes, and inevitably doesn't like (!!) I thought I'd share some of those Hits & Misses here.</i><br />
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<i>It is a learning process and I hope, as we go along, that I can learn from you, and hopefully you can learn from our experiences as well. Happy Thursday!</i><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;"><b>Glutino Gluten Free Cereal Bars</b></span> - a definite <b><span style="color: red;">HIT</span> </b>with my son. We have tried Blueberry an Cherry so far, and he takes one in his lunch almost every day. They also come in Apple, Strawberry, and Raspberry flavours that we are anxious to try as well.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Nature's Path Envirokids Gorilla Munch Corn Puffs - </b>another definite <b><span style="color: red;">HIT</span></b> in our house, thanks to a recommendation from my GF friend Shannon in Waterloo. I haven't tried them myself, but after "epic fails" with 3 other GF cereals it was a relief to find this one that he loves. The best part - we call them Gorilla Balls! TeeHee! :)</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Van's Wholesome Foods - Wheat & Gluten Free Blueberry Waffles - </b>I'm going to call this a <b style="color: red;">HIT/MISS </b>as we are kind of on the fence about these. The overall thought was "they're not bad, but they're not great." We will finish the box but I don't think I would buy them again. They do toast up nice and crisp in about 2 minutes in the toaster, but the texture is just not quite right, if you catch my drift. The other thing I found a bit odd was that it says they toast better in the oven for a few minutes. Well, this may be true, but doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a toaster waffle?! You know, using the oven and all?! Weird!</i><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-weight: bold;">La Tortilla Factory Gluten Free Wraps -</span><span style="color: red; font-weight: bold;"> </span>an absolute, definite, 100% <b style="color: red;">MISS!!!</b> The first word that comes to mind is ......Blah! They are waxy, hard, and utterly tasteless. Even warming them, as the package suggests, did not make them any better in the taste or texture department. You know that inaccurate stereotype many people have that GF products are yucky and tasteless? Yeah, these wraps fit that to a tee! I hear Udi's makes a GF wrap so we will have to try those instead. These didn't even rate another try - into the garbage they went.</i><br />
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<i>So, that's another day of our GF experience so far.</i><br />
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<i>BTW, you can follow our journey on Twitter as well @lazygourmetblog.</i><br />
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<i>I wish you all a wonderful day! Cheers!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-40480728570338396602014-05-21T06:38:00.001-07:002014-05-21T06:39:54.301-07:00Gluten Free Hits & Misses - Volume 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>It has been 2 weeks today that my son has been gluten-free and our household has been gluten-reduced. And as we continue on this journey we are discovering new products almost daily. Many of which we have never eaten or tried before. So I thought we would share some of our "Hits & Misses" in the gluten-free/healthier eating department as we go along.</i><br />
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<i>Here are a few recent "Hits" to get us started:</i><br />
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<b><i><span style="color: blue;">Udi's Gluten Free Dark Chocolate Brownie Bites</span></i> </b><i>are a definite <b>HIT!</b> Dude, they taste like 2-bite brownies! I currently need to buy more since I have been scarfing them down like mad! <b><span style="color: red;"> </span><span style="color: magenta;">TIP:</span></b> <span style="color: magenta;">these are found in the frozen foods section of the health food store and should be kept refrigerated so they maintain their freshness</span><b style="color: magenta;">. </b>They are also soy and nut-free if this is an issue in your household.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Late July Organic Cheddar Cheese crackers.</b> These were a <b>HIT</b> and a <b>MISS</b> for us. They were a definite <b>MISS </b>because they were in a gluten-free display at our local health food store and they are <b><span style="background-color: yellow;">NOT GLUTEN-FREE</span>. </b>The display was mislabelled and I didn't read the ingredients before I purchased. My bad! The <b>HIT </b>however, is that, although my GF son cannot eat them, I can and they are super yummy!! Organic, no preservatives, non-GMO, etc. I would definitely buy them again as a snack for myself.</i><br />
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<i><b style="color: blue;">Daiya Margherita Pizza. </b>OMG this pizza is amazing! A <b>HIT</b> all the way! I have to admit I was very sceptical the first time we had this. I was totally expecting something that looked like pizza and tasted like cardboard. I could not have been more wrong! We have had this twice in the past few weeks and my son is already asking to have it again! <span style="color: magenta;"><b>TIP: </b>They also sell a small, personal-sized pizza that is perfect to send with kids when they go to sleepovers or birthday parties where there will inevitably be pizza. We already have one on hand for this scenario.</span></i><br />
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<i>We will be trying a muffin mix today, as well as a new brown rice pasta. Wish us luck!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
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<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-39064132365996022372014-05-19T04:59:00.000-07:002014-05-19T08:56:49.182-07:00Gluten-Free Journey - Week 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>The past 10 days have been interesting for us. On the advice of our family doctor we have put my 12 year old son on a "gluten-reduced" diet. A bit of history:</i><br />
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<i>My son has had a diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) since the age of 5. I'm sure there will be many blog posts to come about our experiences dealing with that issue and the things that worked (and didn't!) for us. But this is about the gluten. </i><br />
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<i>For the past 18 months he has been having stomach issues. Not just off and on, but 4 or 5 days a week. We assumed (and were told by doctors and therapists) that this was a physical manifestation of the anxiety. Makes sense. Except......3 months ago we moved him to a private school that has been an absolute god-send for him (again, more on that in another post) and although many of his anxiety symptoms have disappeared in this new, healthy, supportive environment, the stomach issues have remained. So, off to the doctor we go. Abdominal ultrasounds and blood work have been ordered to rule out anything further, but as we await those results the doctor suggested we greatly reduce the gluten in his diet to see if that may be the possible culprit. It was no guarantee, but he encouraged us to try it for 2 weeks and see if it made any difference.</i><br />
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<i>And now my frustration kicks in! Because it worked! Which is amazing! Except I'm frustrated that a multitude of doctors who treated my son for stomach issues over the past 18 months never even bothered to suggest this and just wrote the whole thing off to anxiety! Do I believe the anxiety plays a role in the stomach issues? Absolutely. We've all had that "nervous stomach" feeling when something is making us nervous or uncomfortable. But it shouldn't be a daily things for close to 2 years.</i><br />
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<i>As usual, I digress. So, although frustrated, we are thrilled! He has been gluten-free for 10 days with NO STOMACH ISSUES! WooHoo!</i><br />
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<i>Our 10 day gluten-free journey has not been without its bumps. </i><br />
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<i>The first bump - holy crap this stuff is expensive! It saddens me that buying healthier food for my family costs more than buying the genetically modified junk that makes him sick. </i><br />
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<i>The second bump - cereal! According to my son, gluten-free cereal is "disgusting". Lovely! So after 4 boxes of cereal in as many days (anyone want some gently used gluten-free cereal?) we finally found one he likes. Nature's Path Gorilla Munch. The best part? It has a gorilla on the box and the cereal are little balls (think Corn Pops) so we have dubbed them "Gorilla Balls" which he loves! Ha! Oh come on, that's funny!</i><br />
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<i>So we're learning. We're learning that many, many people we know are gluten-free or gluten-reduced and that there is a lot of help and information out there. We are learning that sometimes all that help and information can be overwhelming. We are learning that cereal is not as simple as it used to be and that rice pasta is apparently a fine art to cook correctly. Trust me on this! Yesterday I made a pot of glue for lunch! Blah! </i><br />
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<i>But we are also learning that we have been lax and somewhat nonchalant about what we are putting in our bodies. Was going gluten-free important to me when I realized it could eliminate my son's stomach issues? Of course. But what made this whole journey take on a bit more meaning, was when he was with me in the health food store last week (shout out to Goodness Me!) and was actually reading the labels and ingredients on things before he added them to our basket. I was impressed that he was checking for gluten content and not just picking up the splashiest looking box. When I told him how impressed I was he said, "I like reading the ingredients and knowing what I'm eating. All those chemicals can't be good for us."</i><br />
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<i>And there you have it. Out of the mouths of babes. I'm proud of him for taking such an interest in this process. And being responsible enough to realize that it has made him feel better. He even took a gluten-free hamburger bun and some gluten-free snacks to a sleepover on Saturday night because he didn't want an upset stomach to ruin his fun.</i><br />
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<i>So we're learning. And enjoying the process.</i><br />
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<i>Now, off I go to pour my kid some Gorilla Balls. *wink*</i><br />
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<i>Happy Victoria Day!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-28563108898962655532014-05-17T05:47:00.000-07:002014-05-19T12:14:24.732-07:00The Lazy Gourmet Mutts<i>My 12-year-old son is currently working on a school project for his IT class, where he has to create a slideshow of pictures, all of people, places, or things that are special to him or that he enjoys. So far he has photos of the dogs, his Pokemon cards, and some X-Box games. These are the "important" things in the life of a 12-year-old. I am hoping a photo of his mother will rate at some point. *wink* </i><br />
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<i>So this project of his got me thinking about the thousands upon thousands of pictures I have taken over the years, and I thought I would share a few with you on this chilly Saturday morning in May. And by the way, Mother Nature, what up?!?! It is not supposed to BE chilly in May! </i><br />
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<i>I digress. A few photos. Today's theme - The Mutts! Enjoy!</i><br />
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<i> </i>Biscuit assists me with my blogging :)<br />
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Road-tripping! On our way up to the cottage last summer.<br />
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Biscuit the Beagle X and Tango the Greyhound.<br />
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Oh there's a story here! This was taken after she ESCAPED (yes, escaped!) from a leash-free park and I had to climb a 5 foot fence and tackle her in a wooded ravine! She is begging for forgiveness while I nursed my wounds and my ripped pants!</div>
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Thanksgiving Dinner - mutt style! I am holding handfuls of leftover ham. Hence their unusual attentiveness!</div>
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Naptime - Beagle style.<br />
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Tango in his fancy bandage after a surgery last year.<br />
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Rough day!<br />
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Biscuit pretends she is a cat.<br />
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She absolutely LOVES the snow!!<br />
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My big beautiful boy! Taken on his 6th birthday.<br />
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I say to her regularly, "It's a good thing you're cute!"<br />
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Winter snuggles. Shhhh, don't tell Tango his blankie is pink!<br />
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The Beagle - cat napping.<br />
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Peek-a-boo! I love this one!<br />
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A bit of craziness!<br />
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This was taken 2 days after Biscuit joined our family. Amazing!<br />
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<i> </i>Crazy mutt in the sunshine :)<br />
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<i>There are many days when I talk to them through gritted teeth and wonder whose idea it was to have 2 dogs anyway (!!!), but the smiles they bring outweigh the frustrations (most days!) and we are very thankful to have them as part of our family.</i><br />
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<i>Happy Weekend!</i><br />
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<i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
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<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-4298291161965288302014-04-24T10:00:00.002-07:002014-05-19T08:58:09.843-07:00The Surprising Gifts Relaxation Will Bring You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Recently, my husband and I drove 3 hours north for a peaceful 4-day vacation, free of children, dogs, and technology. It was heavenly!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>OK, let me address what you are all now thinking. Husband?! Say what?! When did THAT happen? Well, it didn't. But it did. </i></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i> For some unknown reason while on this trip, we began referring to each other as "my husband" and "my wife". It started out with an innocent comment at the front desk when T referred to me as his wife. I think my jaw hit the floor! Not because I don't feel that way about him, because I do, but because we have both always asserted that because we have "been there, done that" we do not intend to ever get "officially" married. We both want a lifelong commitment to each other, and have made plans to exchange rings and vows at some point, but not in front of a minister, or a judge, or a crowd. Just us. That commitment is what we both want. Not the piece of paper that proves it.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So, whether it was the relaxed environment, the spectacular views, the endless alone time, or possibly the cocktails, we seamlessly began referring to each other as such on this trip.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And maybe that is part of what relaxation brings you. Cuz damn we were relaxed! Many times I found myself realizing that I had no idea what time it even was....and I didn't care! We allowed ourselves to be ruled by the sunrise, the weather, and possibly the hours of the breakfast buffet. *wink*</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Maybe relaxation brings you the opportunity to say and do and become things you were already feeling, but in the busy-ness of everyday life, were over-thinking so much that they never happened. My story above is a perfect example. We had "planned" to exchange rings and refer to each other as husband and wife while we built our lives together. We talked about it a lot. Both agreed we would do it. That it made sense. That that was how we felt about each other. But in all that talking and planning, it never occurred to us that we could just DO that any time we darn well wanted to! And it took less than 2 hours of extreme relaxation for us to fall into the husband/wife labels without even a second thought. It just rolled off T's tongue like he'd been calling me that for years. No thinking required!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And that's what love is. Does it require work to maintain a relationship? Absolutely! Does it require patience in the face of frustration? Absolutely! Does it require planning when making a big decision like buying a house or starting a new career? Absolutely! There are plenty of things within a relationship that are going to require talking and planning. Trust me, we are merging households in approximately 90 days and there is more talking and planning going on than I care to have! But what should NOT require any talking, or any planning, or any thought whatsoever, is what you call that person you have chosen to share your life with.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And when all the clutter and crap from everyday life has been removed, and you are standing on a Muskoka balcony, watching the sun rise over frozen Peninsula Lake, you magically become husband and wife. In the best possible way. With no thought required. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>**Our recent trip was to Deerhurst Resort in Huntsville, Ontario, Canada. A beautiful place to visit in all 4 of our spectacular Canadian seasons. Below are a few more photos from our trip.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-62154816073899052632014-04-16T07:40:00.001-07:002014-05-19T08:58:32.466-07:00The Lost Art of Kindness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>My grandmother taught me this the minute I could talk. I can still hear her voice telling me to treat others the way I want to be treated. In fact, this pillow looks like something she would have made and had in her home.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"If you don't have anything nice to say.....don't say anything at all."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"Treat others the way you wish to be treated."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Seems simple enough. It basically means be kind, be caring, be respectful, and those things will come back to you in return.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Except they don't. Maybe my faith in humanity is dwindling. Maybe people are just too busy to stop and be nice to each other. Maybe, with the prevalence of social media outlets like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, people feel more at ease just being nasty because they don't ever need to look anyone in the eye. I would hazard a guess that many of these comments would never be made if they were actually face to face with another human being.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Now, let's be clear, I'm not talking about a respectful difference of opinion here, or even a heated debate. If you have ever been to my Facebook page you know there have been many topics I chose to share or post about that brought on some strong opinions of people on both sides of a given "hot topic." And that is GREAT! That is what I love about social media. I love sharing my experiences and opinions and then hearing how others have experienced similar situations. And I'm not offended by someone who disagrees with me. Not one bit. But I am offended if they cannot express their difference of opinion respectfully.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>As actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson so eloquently put it - "I am all for Freedom of Speech, but I hold a special place in my heart for those who can do it respectfully." I paraphrase but you get the gist. Just be freaking NICE to people!!!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>OK so here's what has prompted this little tirade I am on. Besides the issues you've seen me post about recently regarding my wish for respect from family and friends, I'm noticing an upsetting Facebook trend lately. Maybe it's been there all along and I've been oblivious, or maybe this whole journey of self-discovery has allowed me to see things a little more clearly and know what I am willing (and not willing) to tolerate any longer. But people (ok SOME people, not ALL people) seem to think a happy, excited Facebook status update is their opportunity to piss on your Corn Flakes just to make themselves feel better. When did someone's excited status update about an upcoming vacation become an opportunity for you to criticize them, question them, or tell them all the reasons they will have a crappy time?! Seriously?!?</i></span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have not been on a child-free vacation since before my son was born 12 years ago. And as a single parent I have done my best to ensure that we take vacations together several times a year so that he has those kinds of experiences to look back on. But this week (in 2 days actually) I am going away sans child for my first adult vacation in more than 12 years. So yeah, I'm excited. I'm happy. I'm even a bit nervous if you want the truth. But above all else, I am looking forward to the downtime that I have not had in more than a decade.</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And with that happiness and my desire to share my excitement with my Facebook friends, comes these types of comments:</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">- "Why would you not go somewhere tropical? Going north at this time of year is stupid."</i><br />
<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">- "You know there's still going to be snow up there right? What a waste of money."</i><br />
<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">- "It's Easter Weekend. The place is going to be crawling with kids. Nice break!"</i><br />
<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">- "You're only going for 4 days? That's not a real vacation."</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gee.....thanks. I don't even know what else to say! I was in shock that people would choose to try and diminish my excitement by telling me why THEY thought my vacation plans sucked. Nice!</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have valid, legitimate responses to all of these comments, but I'm not going to bother sharing them. Nor did I bother sharing them on my Facebook page where these comments originated. Why? Because I'm an adult. And so is my boyfriend. We are 40-something people with brains in our heads who researched vacation options and chose THIS. If YOU would have made a different choice, more power to ya. I would never wish to vacation in a country like Cuba, for example, but when you post about your excitement over your upcoming Cuban vacation I will wish you safe travels and look forward to seeing your photos when you return. Would I vacation there? No. But that doesn't mean you can't. And I certainly wouldn't rain on your parade and proceed to tell you why your vacation is going to suck. </i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Who does that?!?!</i><br />
<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></i>
<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oh wait.....I know.......the people who never met my grandmother. The people who never learned "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">~ The Lazy Gourmet</i><br />
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TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732553292426362217.post-67773911849398759522014-04-14T11:12:00.000-07:002014-05-19T08:59:06.847-07:00OK So I Have Clarity.......Now What?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Clarity is a wonderful thing. And it took me 40 years to get it! Clearly I am a slow learner! But here's the thing about clarity.....now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>As I sit here on this rainy Monday, sipping tea and listening to the dogs snore on their beds, I have a very clear picture of how I got to where I am. How I became this person that I have become. The way I was raised. The choices I've made. The inevitable mistakes I've made. (sometimes more than once, just to be sure) </i></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And I know who I am now, who I wish to become, and what I want for myself and the new family I am building. It's a wonderful feeling! Knowing who you are and where you wish to go. And knowing you have people willing to make that walk into the future with you. Believe me, I've waited a long time!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>But there is a darker side to clarity. It's the side that has prompted many of my recent blog posts. The side that shows you that the kind of relationships you thought you had with friends and family members may not be what you always thought they had been. You may realize that these relationships have grown and changed over the years, and have become something different than what they started out to be. Maybe they have improved and grown stronger - which is wonderful. Or maybe you have outgrown them. Maybe circumstances in your life (or theirs) have changed, and thus the friendship changes too. I think I have a few instances of this happening in my life right now. Does it hurt that these people no longer consider my friendship a priority? Hell yeah it does! But at least I see it clearly. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but I can make sense of it. Which I always need to do!! I don't like things that don't make sense - in case you haven't met me! ;)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Clarity allows you to look at these people, sometimes friends, sometimes parents, sometimes siblings, and understand who they are. Just as I have done with myself, the 40-something clarity has allowed me to look at people close to me and understand why they treat me the way that they do. How the circumstances of their lives and their childhoods have shaped who they are and how they interact with the world around them. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So does this power of clarity help me understand why they treat me (and others) the way they do? Yes, yes it does. But it still leaves me wondering what the heck to do with it!!! I can look at a person's past and understand how the tragedies of their childhood, or the abandonment by a parent, or the emotional abuse, or the quest for perfection, etc, etc, have shaped them. I can see how the way they treat the people around them is a defence mechanism, or a wall to ensure real feelings are not allowed in or out. I can see that they have built these walls and "been this way" for 40, 50, 60 years and are unlikely to change at this point. Yup, seein' it all. Crystal clear! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>OK, so I have clarity......now what?!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>No seriously! Now what? What the heck am I supposed to DO with this new-found clarity? This understanding of why the people in my life choose to treat me the way they do does nothing to help me toward that goal of figuring out how to have them interact with me in a respectful manner. To have them treat me like an adult, as a responsible parent, as a smart, intelligent, funny human being who deserves nothing less than their respect.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Or maybe it does.....maybe every time I blog about, chat about it with a friend over coffee, rant about it to my wonderful guy or cry about it to the dogs when no one is home......maybe every time I do that I am taking one tiny baby step closer to figuring out what to do with this thing called clarity. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And maybe those baby steps closer to figuring it out, are the baby steps back from those toxic and hurtful relationships.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Maybe every time I have a conversation (be it in person, over the phone, or via text) that makes me feel "less than", I am taking one tiny step back. The conversations become shorter with more time in between, the visits are not as often and I find myself turning down invitations. Baby steps back. Moving myself slowly out of situations that have left me feeling sad and frustrated and broken and less than for many many years.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So now that I've gotten my thoughts out in a rather rambling manner (I apologize for that) it seems that maybe I did know all along what to do with this clarity. It's baby steps.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Baby steps toward that new life, that new beginning. That safe, secure, supportive home with my wonderful sweetheart and my amazing son. Where we are free to be ourselves. To make mistakes and be supported. To laugh, to cry, to love, and to be who we are meant to be.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And baby steps back, from those that have made me feel less than..........slowly but surely, I am stepping back.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"Clarity - your soul is guiding and supporting you every step of the way."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>~ The Lazy Gourmet</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>TheLazyGourmethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05473936201043964578noreply@blogger.com0